Helmet technology has been pretty static for decades, but lately it’s been hotting up. I can think of a few helmets in the last couple of years, from the moderately innovative, to the radical “Invisible” helmet.

Now there’s a new shell for your nut, waiting in the wings. The Bling Helmet claims to be “smart” and brings new powers to the lowly and previously dumb helmet, including lights, music, phone calls, walkie-talkie and SOS messaging. Phew.

The helmet comes with the Bling Jet, a remote control for your helmet. It allows you to control your helmet’s lights and control your phone, so you can answer calls, play music, and even shoot video of your ride.

The SOS Alert is triggered when the helmet detects a crash or fall, it automatically messages your emergency contacts.

Can’t you just see your buddies slapping you around your head trying to trigger the SOS message? Or is that just my idea of fun?

The Bling with the Jet remote control will retail for around $238.

The Bling Helmet is marketed as “the first smart and safe helmet.” Hmm… how safe is it to use that technology while riding?

IMO the big danger with phones is not the device and whether it’s hands-free or not, it’s the divided attention. You can’t have your full attention on the road, be fully aware of what’s happening around you, and be anticipating dangers and “what-ifs,” if you’re having a conversation with someone.

How about fiddling about on the handlebar remote trying to find that song?

Ain’t smart. Ain’t safe. Not saying you shouldn’t do it. I’ve done it in certain circumstances. But let’s have no illusions as to the dangers involved. And having our helmets call our friends to tell them we’re dead, but hey we went out rocking, isn’t much consolation.